Hi my name is Susie. I am 38, married and the mother of 2 beautiful boys – Harry 8 and Jack 4. Before I had children I enjoyed travelling, eating out, drinking wine, socialising, eating well, going to the gym and generally having fun. Then I had my sons and my life turned upside-down!
My eldest was pretty easy – slept OK, ate most foods, cried only a little and it was easy to work out what he wanted and was easily consoled. I missed my old life a little when he was born, but hubby and I quickly realised that taking him with us to most outings really wasn’t as hard as other parents made out and so life was pretty good.
THEN MY SECOND SON WAS BORN. Now he is a totally different kettle of fish. He CRIED CONSTANTLY as a baby, couldn’t be consoled, was hard to introduce to solids and his sleeping patterns were all over the place! We couldn’t take him anywhere, it was just too stressful, and my old life was GONE well and truly. What happened?? Did something go wrong in pregnancy? Does he have something WRONG WITH HIM? Or am I doing something differently that I didn’t do with Harry?
Now that he is a bit older what I really struggle with is getting Jack to do anything without a fight, the CONSTANT BATTLES are draining. Why can’t he just do what I say? His mood swings are out of control and he can hit, scratch, trash his room and NOTHING can get him out of one of his funks.
I am desperate to have the happy family life I always envisioned. I cannot go on like this. I have become a screaming, threatening parent and I hate myself for it. I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF, I just turn into a monster as he gets me that wound up.
My family and friends don’t understand as they’ve never met a kid like this before. I know they blame us as parents and it really annoys and upsets me – maybe they’re right, but I don’t think so. I wish I knew someone who was going through the same thing. It would be so nice to talk to someone who understands.
I have tried SO many different parenting techniques – time-out, rewards, punishment, even smacking (though I hate to admit that) and NOTHING works. Or it does for a while and then doesn’t. Or it makes me feel like a mean horrible mum.
I’ve spoken to my Family Doctor who mentioned DEPRESSION and suggested medication. I’ve seen a psychologist myself too. I really need help with my emotions and how to handle Jack, before the wheels fall off completely!
I also worry about poor Harry as he misses out on so much attention as his brother takes everything from me! I am EXHAUSTED, OVERWHELMED and TIRED! I NEED this to get better! Someone help please!!
Sound familiar? This is how most of my clients feel when they come to me. Worn out, full of guilt and at the end of their rope. But it doesn’t have to be like this (believe me I’ve been there!). Spirited kids are challenging to parent if you don’t have the correct strategies and tools. They have many amazing qualities that need to be nurtured positively. HOWEVER, starting with yourself is the easiest and most productive way of moving forward. That’s why I recommend to my clients to start with my Stressed to Blessed coaching package as a way of moving into a better frame of mind, where you start to look at the positives in your child, in yourself and in your family as a whole. This process really is life-changing!